You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
