Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
