And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
