Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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