Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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