So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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