And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
