WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
