If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
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