how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
