I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
