Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
