You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Randomize
