I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
