Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
