He is such a slut. More and more my type.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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