Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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