woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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