U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
