Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
