This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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