that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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