My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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