Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
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I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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