I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Your tits are I can't wait for
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I have tasted many bathrooms
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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