She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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