I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
