Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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