Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
