dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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