i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
