you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
