Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
