she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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