my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
