You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
