We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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