God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
