I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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