My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
