All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
