Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
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This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
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He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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