it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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