can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize