she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Woke up backwards on a recliner
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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