I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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