why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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