you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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