Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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