The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
