What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize