I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
