look no pants
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
