my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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