Well apparently he's into motor boating.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
