cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize