I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Drake has all the answers
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
