i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
My vagina is officially offended.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize