My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You're a waste of cheezeits
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
