Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
