i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
