why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
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